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Make a Freak Feel Clean

by CALYX

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1.
Cryin Elvis 03:00
No use cryin over gettin what you wished for You pushed him away Here’s a bag for yr stuff scattered over the floor Throw your toothbrush away You don’t sleep here anymore Late november cool on yr wet hot face out by the trash Take a moment, indulge it. Then you gotta get back. Motions become yr focus. Allergies why yr eyes are red. Flip the sign to close so you can make it home where you can finally think about it Everybody’s assumin you made the boy cry. . Nobody’s askin if yr alright. So you don’t talk about it. Let’s not forget the first time he said it. Shot it like a weapon. Before heading down a break-your-neck hill when ya tried to end it. I watched the trees out your window lose its leaves I was surprised to see snow You changed the way you said my name. I watched the green buds grow. In times like these it’s best to have a strategy. Forgive me if I’m selective with my memories.
2.
Hardware holdin you all together is creakin from the weather Loose screws, bone spurs, metal rods, and burnt nerves after 3 decades your friends skipped out just cuz you slow em down cut ya open found corrosion replace the bone with odds and ends materials to make strong buildings but will they make strong men? take half the dose with bravado on the phone: "it's fine" you forget to mention: collapsed lung, the hospitalization "didn't wanna bring ya down" "it's an old story by now, I didn't wanna bum ya out" just cut it off - the old joke comes back just cut it off the cure - not as good for a laugh just cut it off I guess no news is good news just let it go you're better off without it just let it go
3.
Erie 02:42
you fell asleep on the shores of Erie turned half of your body bright, warm red your hair was short so your skull looked funny nothin to do but laugh teenagers volleyboppin back n forth throwin mean looks to ya in yr jean shorts we're sore sights for young eyes i tried to see what they see but all i could think was "can't know nothin bout somebody in two weeks" I try to remind myself that I know how to have a good time Go slow, you've got friends on this long short road what ya runnin for? there's them, but i only like us don't stop tellin me to lighten up
4.
Feel Clean 03:58
if i can't be clean, can i live unrestrained? can the sky open up to show me how? let loose some well held clouds and drench me now but if i can't be clean, can we take away the shame? can the fog of guilt be blown away? can i feel awake and sane? but if i can't be clean, can i not be thrown away? can i feel my weight against the earth? can i feel my weight as worth? in the morning light i survey all my parts in the morning light i decide not to wash clean

credits

released October 20, 2016

Recorded and mixed by the one and only Brandon Carnes
Mastered by the master Justin Francis
Cover Art by Laponte and Bender (and a lil help from B. Johnson)

songs written and performed by Calyx
w/ some sweet guitar sounds and vox by B. Carnage

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CALYX Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Caitlin Bender, Garett Cassidy, & Jon Ahn.

In jamming we trust.

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